[jsi]

[pwnspatrickjane]

It's the hair. It has to be the hair.

I mean, there's no other explanation for it. He's like Goliath or David or whoever that guy was in the bible where they cut off his hair and he suddenly turned into a pansy. Gus says that it's his years of martial arts training and doing classified things in classified places, but I couldn't disagree more.

Have you seen the man's hair? It's like a mane of manliness. It's always perfectly coiffed and straightened. Even after a down and out dirty fight, it still manages to fall perfectly messy. Hair just doesn't do that naturally. Never mind the fact that if you saw the Season Two finale, he took down fourteen guys, all with his hair in place. Without the hair, it just wouldn't be the same.

Therefore, due to the natural advantage of the Hair of Awesome, I officially declare Eliot Spencer this TV generation's Chuck Norris. It's just a given.